Editorial Note

Versions of this page have been circulating for some time. Some philosophical schools, as well as religions, have worked their way in. Some people don't think that religion, or at least their religion, is a matter for humor. If these characterizations offend anyone, please be informed that they are supposed to offend everyone. If you think you might be offended, pleasure return to the Philosophy of Religion index. Death threats are unwarranted. See religion taken seriously here and here -- more so than in most universities, or even in the religion departments thereof. Other entries have been suggested, but, really, there are limits.

A Short Guide to Comparative Religions

TaoismShit happens.
ConfucianismConfucius say, "Shit happens."
BuddhismIf shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen BuddhismWhat is the sound of shit happening?
HinduismThis shit happened before.
MormonismThis shit is going to happen again.
IslamIf shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.
StoicismThis shit is its own reward.
ProtestantismLet this shit happen to someone else.
CalvinismShit happens because you don't work hard enough.
PentecostalismIn Jesus' name, heal this shit!
CatholicismShit happens because you deserve it.
JudaismWhy does this shit always happen to us?
ZoroastrianismShit happens half the time.
MarxismThis shit is going to hit the fan.
AtheismNo shit.
Seventh Day AdventistNo shit on Saturdays.
ExistentialismAbsurd shit.
AgnosticismWhat is this shit?
NihilismWho gives a shit?
DeconstructionShit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.
Christian ScienceShit is in your mind.
MooniesOnly happy shit really happens.
Jehovah's WitnessesKnock, Knock, shit happens.
ScientologyShit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard
Hare KrishnaShit happens, Rama Rama.
HedonismThere's nothing like a good shit happening.
RastafarianismLet's smoke this shit.

Ça peut merder

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