This is not a story but a short section in a book, Female Domination, An exploration of the male desire of Loving Female Authority, by Elise Sutton [2003]. Why a man would want or tolerate going without orgasms competely perplexes me, but there are many stories and quasi-true accounts of orgasm denial to a greater or lesser extent. An account of complete denial is given here with an attendant practice that comes in for some notice, prostate milking. This prevents noctural emissions, but it also raises the question where the ejaculation is really without pleasure. Other accounts of the practice involve putting ice on the penis to prevent sensation.
The fastest way to a man's will is his penis and it is through the will of a man that a woman will achieve obedience. To be obedient or rebellious requires a decision and that decision is made within the human mind. The sexually satisfied man cannot be as easily controlled through his sex drive but the easily aroused man who is denied is eager to obey as his sex drive is at the forefront of his psyche.
An interesting aspect to the Femdom practice of male orgasm denial is the sexual impact it has on women. Few things rival the sexual intensity that a woman will experience when she denies her husband sexual orgasms while she enjloys as much pleasure as she desires. It is a psychological power exchange that releases more of a woman's dominant nature and sexual desires. Women begin to not only enjoy the benefits of male orgasm denial outside of the bedroom but also the benefits inside of the bedroom. Male orgasm denial is all about control and the woman who controls her man's orgasms ultimately controls her man.
A man being kept denied while pleasuring a woman is an incredible experience. The intensity of sex for a woman that is being orally serviced by a denied and passionate man will surpass most sexual experiences for the female. Likewise, few things rival the mental pleasure that the denied man experiences when he is being denied while required to sexually satisfy his Mistress. Those who have never experienced this power dynamic do not understand the power and intensity of male orgasm denial.
Priscilla discovered the advantages of orgasm denial when she began to control her husband's sexual release.
When I found out that my Ted had a problem with habitual mastrubation, I felt hurt and betrayed. I figured that men did this but I had no conception of how frequently some men mastrubate. I caught him one night mastrubating while he was watching a sexually provocative music video on television and I just about lost it. We had been married for eight years and I had no indication about his mastrubation problem. He apologized and promised to never do it again and being the naive wife that I was, I took him at his word.It wasn't long before I found more evidence of his dirty little habit, like the stained hand towels in the laundry, and I caught him doing it again, this time in the shower. He was embarrassed and he confessed to me that he could not control himself. That is also when he admitted to me that he had been masturbating multiple times a day since he was a teenager, including most days since we were married. I knew that men were different than women when it came to self-control but I felt betrayed and hurt by his confession. Our sex life was not the greatest and now I knew why. He preferred to pleasure himself.
To his credit, Ted felt ashamed and he wanted to please me by going cold turkey with his masturbation habit. I made it clear to him that I did not trust him and I saw no way he could ever convince me that he could control himself. Ted could see the disappointment in my eyes and that is when he suggested the implementation of a chastity device.
I never knew such devices existed but Ted had been reading about them on the Internet. He showed me a site dedicated to a device known as "The CB-2000". It was it plastic cage that went over the entire penis with a ring that went around his testicles. This device prevented the male from touching himself. The cage had gaps in the top so a man could still urinate and clean the head of his penis while wearing the device. I became enthused about the possibilities and I told Ted to order me a CB-2000.
When it arrived, Ted shaved his pubic hair and installed the chastity device. It took him a little time to get get use to it and he had some discomfort from the ring pinching the skin of his ball sac, but I liked the concept of my husband being under my control. The CB-2000 came with a little pad lock and once it locked in place, I kept the key in my possession. Ted's penis was completely at my mercy.
He wore it for twelve straight hours that first day before I let him out. The next day I made him wear it for twenty-four hours. It was a Saturday so he stayed near the house. The third time he wore the device, I made him go three days, which included wearing it to work under his slacks. The CB-2000 is a little bulky so he had to wear dark slacks and he was worried that people would notice, but they didn't. Ted had his mental struggles with the device and he began to change his mind about giving me this much control. He wanted me to forget about having him wear a chastity device and he promised me that he would never masturabte again. His pleading to be released only made me more determined to keep him locked in the chastity device.
After the third day, I let him out for a day or two but the next time, I kept him locked in it for an entire week. Ted finally became resolved to the fact taht I was not about to chchange my mind so he got use to the device. It would pinch him at times when he was exercising or doing physical activities but he learned how to adapt. He had to wear dark slacks to work and dark colored shorts out in the yard to hide the slight buldge in his pants from the chastity device, but he eventually became more comfortable.
Our relationship began to change due to Ted's chastity. Ted was always the dominant partner in our marriage but with me controlling his orgasms through the use of a chastitty device, I began to develope a dominant attitude toward him. The first thing that changed was our sex life. I released Ted from the CB-2000 once a week in which he would clean both himself and the device and shave his public hair. I would allow him a few hours out of the device before requiring that he reinstall it. During his few free hours, I would allow him to have sex with me. He would spring to erection and his passion toward me was the best since we were newlyweds. But there was one minor problem. Ted was so sexually frustrated from being confined in that cage all week wihout being able to touch himself, that when I permitted him to have sex with me, he would have a premature ejaculation, which left me frustrated. An even bigger problem was that after his quickie orgasm, he seemed to revert back to his old self, meaning a loss in passion and a short temper toward me. This was not good so I had to make some adjustments to our sex life.
I began to only have sex with Ted while he was wearing the CB-2000. In fact, I only permitted him out of the device once every other week and then only for a few hours to allow him to shave, to clean himself and clean the device. If we were going to engage in sex, he had to be wearing the CB-2000. The results were that for the first time in our marriage, our sex life became all about my pleasure. Ted orally pleasured me for as long as I wanted and I pleasured myself with a dildo or a vibrator. Ted was so full of passion that he began to perform oral sex on me for hours at a time. Before, he never liked to go down on me but now, he was doing me with a passion and an incredible endurance. I would also make him pleasure me with my sex-toys. I look great pleaure in pointing out to Ted how my dildo was much bigger than his penis and how my dildo never went limp.
Ted had to remain in the CB-2000 during sex, which caused him some discomfort from his penis fighting to become erect but being rebuffed by the light cage of the chastity device. Ted began to beg me for sexual relief and I loved having this control over him. My urge to dominate him began to expand into other areas outside the bedroom. I made Ted earn the privilege of an orgasm. I began to assign him chores around the house each night and he had to do a satisfactory performance in his housework in order for me to allow him an orgasm the next time I released his penis from its cage. When I would let him out his cage, intercourse was not an option because of his problem with pre-mature ejaculatoins. So I began to have him masturbate for me, in front of me. This lead to all kinds of exercises in Ted's humiliation as I would invent creative ways for him to entertain me while he masturbated for me. I found msyelf getting on the Internet to research ways a woman could dominate a man sexually and this fueled by sexual arousal and provided me with new ways to dominate Ted.
Ted was soon doing all the household chores, including the cooking. I enrolled Ted in cooking classes and in massage therapy classes. Ted began to be my personal servant. I took charge of almost every aspect of his life and he was so horny all the time from being sexually denied that he obeyed practically all of my demands. He became rather docile submissive toward me and I kept growing more dominant toward him.
On the weekends, Ted is no longer allowed to play golf or watch sports. He has to attend to my needs. I began to make him fast from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. During Saturday, he is required to read books on female care, hair care, nail care, skin care and such. Before his fast ends, I will administer to him an enema to promote health as well as incorporating another method of domingating him. Once again, this has made him more submissive toward me.
On Sunday, Ted must ultilize what he has learned by pampering me. He will do my hair, my nails, give me a massage and of course, he will orally service my body and bring me to multiple orgasms. Every other Sunday, I free him from the CB-2000 an allow him to masturbate in a way that I find to be entertaining. I might make him dance for me as if he was a Chippendale dancer and he must masturbate for me as part of his performance. or I might make him lay across my lap and hump my leg while I spank him until he climaxes. Or I may have him lay across the bed and hump a pillow while I paddle his behind. It depends on my mood and what interesting new way I have found on the Internet. I correspond with other women who have purchased a CB-2000 for their husbands and we share stories and ideas.
Another advantage to this new arrangement is how I was able to motivate Ted to live a healtheir lifestyle. Ted had a terrible eating habit and he rarely exercised. Now that I have gained control over him, I make him exericse and eat right. He gets up early each morning and goes to the gym before work. After work, he performs his domestic duties and has dinner ready when I get home. I took charge of our finances and I only give him a small allowance for lunch each day. Therefore, Ted now easts less and eats healtheir. He lost weight, toned up and looks amazing in the nude. I am so proud of him as he is now my trophy husband.
None of this would have been possible had I not confronted him about his masturbation habit. Ted now lives a disciplined life and he tells me that he has never felt better and has never been happier. I can honestly say the same. It took the chastity device to reverse the roles in our marriage but now that I am in control, our lives are more fullfilled."
There is an evolution that takes place within most women as they experiment with this lifestyle. Most women start out timid and unsure about this lifestyle. Then once they begin to overcome their inhibitions and embrace the dominant side of their personality, they begin to love being dominant and controlling. Over time, the Dominant female's appetite grows and she hungers for more control and more power. Denying a man orgasms is a real power rush. Women who practice this lifestyle will eventually learn that a sexually satisfied man is a selfish man but a denied man is an obedient man. Like Priscilla, Paniela discovered the benefits when she began to deny her husband.
"I was quite shocked at some of the things my husband had been reading on the Internet. From searching the history of our browser, I discovered that he was interested in Female Domination. Most of it really turned me off but some of what I read began to get me excited about the possibilities. I decided that I would love to have the upper hand in my marriage. My husband had hinted at having submissive fantasies before, and I was eager to see how far he would go in a dominant/submissive relationship.The first thing I did was to take charge in the bedroom. I required my husband to please me orally and I set up a schedule where he had to satisfy me four times to be allowed an orgasm of his own. I found him to be very submissive and soon I assigned household chores to him. It became clear to me very quickly that the more dominant I acted towards him, the more subservient he became to me. There was little or no resistance when I took over the finances. I ran into my first problem when I ordered my husband to stop surfing porn sites on the Internet. I found more web sites in our history file. I also suspected that he was masturbating while looking at these sites.
When confronted with the evidence he confessed to both, begged for forgiveness and admitted to a lack of self-control. At this time I started spanking him for any shortcomings and I ordered a chastity device which I hold the key! Having him in chastity 24/7 has helped increase my power in the relationship to the point that my husband is completely submissive to me. He is also completely dependent on me for any sexual relief, and this is a very powerful weapon when wielded by a woman who is not afraid to use it.
He does most of the housework and all the yard work. He not only cooks for me, but also caters to my personal needs. In the last year, I have trained him to shave my legs, help me with my bath routine, and to service me in the bathroom. He cleans me with tissue, sponge, and powder when I finish. I feel that his service keeps his attention where it belongs; and that is on me. Failure to please will result in punishment, usually a spanking or longer length of time to release from his chastity belt.
I allow him to orgasm only about once per month. This has forced some changes in our sex life. I take my pleasure from his tongue usually three or four times a week. I have become hooked on oral sex, and I have very strong orgasms when he tongues both my vagine and my anus. It makes him more submissive after he has spent the evening servicing me orgally. A few months ago my husband complained that we did not engage in enough penetrative sex. I ordered a strap-on dildo and now use it on my husband regularly. I also ordered a chinstrap dildo, when he wears it he can penetrate me and lick my anus at the same time.
The natural growth in our marriage has been towards a female dominated union. My husband is not only my lover and friend, but also a complete servant. He obeys me at all times, though in public we act very much like the couple next door."
Men are much easier to control and dominate when they are denied orgasms. Plus, it makes the entire FemDom lifestyle more pleasurable for the man if he is denied and sexually frustrated. Once a man climaxes, he experiences a letdown and his enthusiasm to serve the female is greatly diminished. To many submissive men, they love the power exchange of being denied while being forced to pleasure the superior female as often as she demands. The thought of having such total control over a husband that even his orgasms can be under her authority, excites many wives.
It would be difficult to deny a man that wasn't excited about some aspects of Female Supremacy or Female Domination. The woman feeds of off the submissive male's excitement and submission. The submissive husband desires to surrender to his wife and the dominant wife seizes upon his desire and thus she begins to desire more submission from him. Some women love the thrill of knowing that their husband would rather give them pleasure than receive pleasure himself. It makes the female feel very powerful and sexual. The man has been trained so that his fulfillment is in knowing that his Queen is being fulfilled. To the submissive male, he is troubled if the moans of his wife's ecstasy do not convey intense pleasure and sexual satisfaction. The submissive male gets much personal fulfillment in pleasing his Queen, which is how it should be within a FemDom marriage.
Kari discovered the power of orgasm denial and enforced male chastity in her relationship with her husband Kenneth.
"My husband and I are both college educated, professional, have an active social life, go to church and share many interests together. A couple of years ago, my husband (a more adventurous person than I) revealed to me his desire to become a submissive husband. I didn't understand what he meant. I love my husband very much, however at first I was convinced he needed psychological help. I did listen though and I did investigate. I realize now he didn't need psycholoigal help at all and I am glad he shared his desires with me.I keep him denied most of the time and our life now is so much better (especially for me). Each day he tells me he falls more in love with me and thanks me for allowing him to serve me. He thanks me for allowing his submissive nature to be revealed, actualizing and nurtured. Each day he submits his will to mine and puts my needs and wants ahead of his. I too love him more and more. I sometimes feel selfish but then I realize we are doing what hubby wants and what makes him happy.
Our marriage is based on mutual respect and understanding. We both are committed to making our relationship not just successful but joyful. As with any relationship, even a female dominant one, it takes effort from both of us to achive our desires. I am learning how to be the decision maker in our relationship. I was raised to be a traditional submissive wife, but in the last several years I have become the opposite. Hubby is still very much a part of my decision making process. I am learning submissive does not equal stupid or weak. Hubby is very smart and wise. I always seek his counsel before making a decision. I want him to feel he has a role in our relationship. It's just not the dominant role. He will give his thougths when asked and accepts the decision. I also know no matter what crisis may pop up, hubby will not run and hide. He is there next to me supporting me. It's wonderful knowing I have such a helpmate.
As wonderful as hubby is, he is still a man. I have also learned men generally are not the equal of women an will mature only so far. Fortunately hubby understands this and accepts his diminished role in our relationship. I know what's best for us (and him) and set rules for him to follow. Hubby tells me he appreciates me doing this. He tells me just because he was born with "balls" does not make him as mature as me and he needs rules and guidelines and discipline. While he hates spankings, corner time, punitive enemas, mouth washing, being put to bed without dinner (he really hates that one), and being denied, he knows as a man he needs corrective discipline. He thanks me for loving him enough to not allow disobedient behavior on his part. He thanks me for putting forth the effort to discipline him."
So how did Kari go from complete novice to such a believer in Female Domination?
"Through an alternative newspaper here in my home town. I discovered a FemDom club. I was curious, but I didn't want to go alone so my best girlfriend (my husband is my best friend) went with me. At first I thought no way could I become a dominant woman but with encouragement from the other women I was meeting and my husband, I began what I consider a transformation.At the FemDom club, I met a woman who was also a therapist. I took my husband to see her to explore why he wanted to become submissive and if he was really willing to submit to me or was his feelings merely a fantasy being expressed. My husband was adamant that he wanted to be submissive to me and would obey me and not try to top me from below. We attended several counseling sessions and expressed our thoughts and expectations.
With the help of this woman therapist and our openness with each other, we decided on new living arrangements. I would control the sex. This was difficult at first. I generally am not an aggressive woman, nor controlling one, but I am learning to be both. My husband though submissive still had a strong sex drive, sometimes he would revert to his old ways and try to initiate and that created tension. While it was uncomfortable, I had to learn to discipline him. One of the female dominant friends I met at the FemDom club came over the first time and took me through my first bare bottom over the knee spanking of my husband. He was then sent to time out and to bed without supper. He had to learn, and so did I, that I am in charge and I say when and where for everything now. I was finding this very liberating.
Inside our home andaround female dominant friends, my husband must address me as Ms Kari and my lady friends as Miss or Ma'am. He must sit as my feet and unless I tell him otherwise, in only a tee shirt and chastity device. To control his habit of masturbating and to constantly remiand him of his submission to me in all areas, I purchased a CB-2000 chastity device. I am the key holder and he wears it 24/7. He is also now my houseboy. it is such a joy to be relieved of household chores. Hubby is learning to be good at doing domestic chores. On those rare occasions when he has been a little lazy on housework, I find a teaspoon or two of castor oil, punitive enema and an over the knee spanking works wonders."
There are a number of quality chastity devices on the market, ranging from affordable to quite expensive. There is the Access Denied, the Chastity Tube, the Tollyboy belt, the Carrara belt, the Neosteel belt and the ever popular CB-2000 (just to name a few).
Why a Chastity device? Some men have a problem with self-control when being denied and other men (like Priscilla's husband) have a habitual habit of frequent masturbation. Within most FemDom marriages, masturbation is forbidden as once again, the depleted male is a lazy male. In cases where the male is having problems resisting the temptation to pleasure himself, a chastity device is an option for the dominant female to ensure obedience in the area of male sexual self-control.
While most dominant women like to incorporate male orgasm denial on some level (be it allowing male orgasms only once a week, twice a month or once a month), a few women go even a step further with their men. There are relationships where the dominant woman has incorporated permanent denial and permanent male chastity. Eva enjoys such an advanced FemDom relationship with her husband.
I am a practicing female supremacist and am enjoying this life more than I could have imagined. I am having the most incredible orgasms of my life. I have been married to my husband for five years now, and he has not had an orgasm for the entirety of our marriage. I am heavily into orgasm denial and his frustration keeps my libido high.Our honeymoon night was his last orgasm because he knew what we had planned as a couple and our "pre-arrangement" to be a D/s [Dominant/submissive] couple. His last orgasm was onto a copy of the contract that we had prepared out in detail. I let it dry and he framed it so he could see what he was never going to get again as long as we were married. We have a loving relationship and even though his frustration grows rapidly, I handle him with true superiority.
Is such a relationship possible? Can a man really be denied permanently? Some women claim that they have such a relationship with a submissive male and there are permanent chastity devices on the market that come with break-off screws and can be installed in accordance with a Prince Albert piercing or a Frenum piercing in the male's penis. From my research, it is important for health reasons that a man is allowed to have his plumbing cleaned out periodically. So how does a woman achieve permantent denial in the training of her husband and at the same time ensure his proper health and mental well-being? The key seems to be with a practice known as "prostate milkings".
Some dominant women milk their husbands' prostates to clean out his plumbing without allowing him the pleasure of an orgasm. A prostate milking is where the female inserts her latex covered finger in his anus, finds his prostate gland and massages it. Done correctly, this will cause the male to release built up semen out of his penis, only it is not intense like an orgasm but rather the semen kind of flows out in a long, continuous stream. An erection is not necessary for a prostate milking so a chastity device can be worn during this process. The end result of the milking is to relieve the male of stored up semen without giving him a pleasurable orgasm.
